Thoughts on Reserve

It’s time for summer movies yet again, good people. I must confess I am wildly excited for several movies this year and not so excited for others. This is why the list is much shorter than the last couple of years. I am being a bit more discerning this time around and am just listing the movies that I am getting pumped for. So, if you wanted to know when the new Ice Age movie or the Katy Perry concert film (it’s real, sadly), are coming out, you might want to find another list. Enough talk. Here be the movies: 

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May 4 - The Avengers

Hard not to be excited for this one. Even though the last few Marvel movies have been less than stellar (*cough, ‘Iron Man 2’, cough*), I am excited about the gang being brought together by Joss Whedon. I’ve only seen a few episodes of ‘Firefly’ but I have a lot of faith in the guy. All the nerds seem to love him, how bad could it be? 

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May 11 - Dark Shadows 

Tim Burton returns to Gothic humor. The movie is apparently based on some TV show I’m too young to have seen and looks really weird, but, ironically, that’s why I’m interested in it. Does anyone think ‘Beetlejuice’ was too weird? Maybe Tim Burton is back. He’s made some risky casting choices this time around, casting Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham…oh…wait. 

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May 18 - Battleship 

I know what you’re thinking. Yes, this looks like the dumbest movie ever, but yes, I want to see it. I really can’t explain why. Liam Neeson, aliens, Rihanna. Let’s just let this one go. 

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May 25 - Men in Black III 

Might be way too late for this movie to still be relevant and it might just plain suck like the last one, but time travel always spices up things and Josh Brolin seems to nail the Tommy Lee Jones impression. I’ll be checking out the new hotness when it hits theaters. 

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June 8 - Prometheus 

Ridley’s Scott’s valiant return to Sci-Fi. This film is set in the same universe as the original ‘Alien,’ which is still horrifying even 40 years later. I hope the new film can bottle some of that magic. Looks like it has an engaging plot and fantastic visuals. Oh, and Michael Fassbender.  

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June 22 - Brave 

It’s a Pixar movie. Always see Pixar movies. 

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June 29 - GI Joe : Retaliation 

Another guilty pleasure movie, I know. But, this one looks like it has taken out the dumb stuff from the first movie, like Channing Tatum. Well, he’s in it for a couple minutes I think. I’m pretty sure he dies when Cobra makes the US Government kill all the Joes. Oh, spoiler alert, I guess. Ninjas. 

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July 3 - The Amazing Spiderman 

Newer, sleeker, angstier! Way too soon for a reboot, but I love that the production team is bringing back old school touches like the web shooters. Andrew Garfield is a good actor, so I have high hopes. Also, the Lizard was one of my favorite villains when I was younger, so they best not mess it up. What am I saying? I’m going to see it no matter what. 

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July 20 - The Dark Knight Rises 

Pretty excited about this one. It’s a little indie movie about a guy that is searching for meaning after the tragic loss of his parents and girlfriend. Very character-driven. Nolan took it to a couple festivals last year. I’d list the cast, but there’s not enough room. I think I’m most excited for Tom Hardy playing Bane. After seeing ‘Bronson,’ I can’t wait to see him take on another frighteningly deranged madman. Actors seem to like that stuff. 

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August 3 - Total Recall 

The Schwarzenegger/Verhoeven film will never ever ever be topped. It completely represented filmmaking at that time and Verhoeven’s style while being completely ridiculous. However, there’s a decent amount of good talent in this new version, Beckinsale, Ferrell, Cranston, etc… Should be good enough. I’ll see you at the party, Richter. 

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August 17 - The Expendables 2

And finally, an honest-to-goodness Schwarzenegger movie. THANK GOD (or Krom?). It’s been way too long, Governator. But the movie also features Chuck Norris, Stalone, Statham, and a bunch of other “actors” that are going to fight people and kill stuff, I guess, so that should be good, right? I mean, you’d THINK it would be, but they somehow managed to mess it up last time. For crying out loud, just give me a modern movie that’s as much dumb fun as ‘Commando’ and we’ll call it even. 

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September 28 - Looper 

Not technically a summer movie, but darn it I am going to see this one. I normally don’t write the whole plot, but Looper promises a certain level of complexity, so here goes: In a world roughly 30 years from now, time travel is possible, but illegal. Criminals use it to send people BACK in time to be murdered by special assassins in the past. One assassin, played by Joseph Gordon Levitt, is tasked with killing his future self, Bruce Willis. Stuff gets crazy. Should be a wild ride. 

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Well, that’s it, people. As I mentioned, if a movie you were hoping to see written here, it’s probably because I didn’t think it was worthy of my official Summer Movie List. Sorry. Sort of. Happy movie-going, everyone. Let’s make it a good summer. 

the-lunar-alchemist:

-purplenurples:

I love it when Tumblr folk find new ways to explore this wonderful site lol.

(Source: iloveyourhumor)

Fantastic one-liners, a Mexican Soap Opera star that looks exactly like Jack Donaghy, and Jon Hamm. The honorable mention goes to Salma Hayek and her line about her mother’s “squishy brain.”